Jesus is changing his name. I know this because a friend's sister's cousin knows his mom and she said he can't even enjoy a smoothie at Nékter without people piling up to ask him for shit.
Come on. He's sick of everyone asking for everything. Lottery numbers, the good parking spot in the Walmart parking lot, discounts on chainsaws, a 'Greenie' with no apple, extra ginger.... and his absolute favorite; get me through this and I'll never do THAT again. lol
Dude is changing his name and now the only way to the christian god becomes a task worthy of the few that take the time to find it. Nothing interesting sits on the surface people. You have to work hard to find the good stuff.
My sources say his people are deciding between Dave, Steve or Pete. (I hear it's going to be Dave)
Make those clingy motherfuckers wade through a sea of Daves to get the request completed. It's like every corporate automated attendant... make it worse than a week of root canals and you limit the calls you have to take.
And while we're at it, why not change his last name to Jones or Smith? Because fuck the lazy. "Dave Smith" is now on Facebook... and he is the way, the truth and the life. lol
Find him now or go to hell. (hmm... maybe I should become a fire and brimstone preacher for the 'Church of Dave Smith' franchise)
Worship your new lord and master... "Dave Smith" once you find him in a sea of Dave Smith's that live here in Phoenix.
Here's a tip, He usually hangs at Nékter on Camelback between 9am and 11am most Sunday mornings. Cool beard. Long hair. He wears sandals and a robe.